Wrong Answers Only

By Page Dominic H.

The creature in the picture above is a booger that became sentient when I accidentally inhaled plutonium particles that were in the air at the nuclear power plant where I work. Throughout a month, it began to crawl out of my nose. At first, the booger was only able to move using appendages like those seen on an amoeba. But gradually it grew muscles and bones that helped it moved with much more precision and detail. Due to the plutonium, the booger, whom I have called Bobby, has an innate sense of where I am at all times. However, if there is a barrier of lead, Bobby is unable to sense where I am and my exact location. As time went on, I got used to Bobby following me around, so I decided to build a pen for him made of a mixture of lead and tin, called solder. I made the pen out of this material due to its high availability. Also, solder is not as dangerous to me as pure lead. I have come to regret owning Bobby due to his high maintenance. The only material that he can digest is solid plutonium, which is very hard to obtain, and his pen needs to be replaced every two to three weeks. The reason for this is that Bobby secretes a green goo, which is a mixture of plutonium, fecal matter, and boogers. The mixture is highly acidic and slowly wears away at the solder until it dissolves into a pool of liquid metal.

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