By Page Asher R.
I entered the time machine, knowing it would only work once, but I had to go back to fix this one mistake. I had to stop the creation of disgusting Oreo flavors. I must fix this mistake because these flavors are outrageous abominations that shouldn’t exist. Oreos are chocolatey vanilla goodness. It is just wrong that the likes of Wasabi, Hot Chicken Wing, and Cherry Coke Oreos exist, and there are other crimes against humanity.
I will fix this by stopping Nabisco, the maker of this normally delicious treat, from ever hiring the demented people that came up with the evil flavors. I will use the time machine to convince Sam Porcello that Oreos must always be protected and kept in their original flavor. Most people don’t know this, but Sam Porcello invented the Oreo Cookie, and he is a flavor genius.
When I go back in time, I will explain to Sam what people have done to his creation, and I will let him sample some of the tragic flavors that I will delete from history. I am concerned that he might like some of the new flavors, but I will convince him that if Oreos are to exist, they must stay in their original state because a true Oreo can only be chocolatey vanilla goodness. It isn’t right for anything else to be considered a true Oreo, and Sam must protect his greatest legacy.
The Knights of the Mightier Pen gather in the hallowed halls of the Regis School in Houston, Texas, to share their tales and poems.