Wrong Answers Only
By Page Dominic H.
The creature in the picture above is a booger that became sentient when I accidentally inhaled plutonium particles that were in the air at the nuclear power plant where I work. Throughout a month, it began to crawl out of my nose. At first, the booger was only able to move using appendages like those seen on an amoeba. But gradually it grew muscles and bones that helped it moved with much more precision and detail. Due to the plutonium, the booger, whom I have called Bobby, has an innate sense of where I am at all times. However, if there is a barrier of lead, Bobby is unable to sense where I am and my exact location. As time went on, I got used to Bobby following me around, so I decided to build a pen for him made of a mixture of lead and tin, called solder. I made the pen out of this material due to its high availability. Also, solder is not as dangerous to me as pure lead. I have come to regret owning Bobby due to his high maintenance. The only material that he can digest is solid plutonium, which is very hard to obtain, and his pen needs to be replaced every two to three weeks. The reason for this is that Bobby secretes a green goo, which is a mixture of plutonium, fecal matter, and boogers. The mixture is highly acidic and slowly wears away at the solder until it dissolves into a pool of liquid metal.
Wrong Answers Only
By Page Tate C.
Weird pets have become a new trend around the world. There have been pets like cheetahs, sharks, even pigs. But I have the strangest pet ever to be known.
I own an Axolotl. It looks like a very strange lizard. Its body is pale and white, with some sort of red horns, six of them. The way that it became my pet was very strange and eccentric. I was on a trip to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I was able to ride in a helicopter and fly over the canyon. Everything was going great. I got to see a bunch of the Grand Canyon, as well as the river flowing through it. The pilot even found a few places that were flat to touch the helicopter down and let me out to explore the canyon. We started to run out of gas and had to start making our way back. I got into the helicopter and the pilot started flying me back. Unfortunately, we didn’t make it back. The helicopter ran out of gas in mid-air! I’d never skydived before in my life, and I was scared to death, but at the time, I was ready to take any evasive maneuvers.
I put on a backpack that held a parachute (How does a backpack hold a parachute anyway? I’ve always wondered that.) and jumped out of the helicopter, along with the pilot, as it crashed into the river and exploded. The pilot and I touched down in the middle of the Grand Canyon. When we touched down, I saw an Axolotl. It looked like it was scared of me. I picked it up. It squirmed in my hands. I reached into my pocket. I had remembered that I had some bread and water in there in case of things like the situation at hand. I picked off a piece of bread and fed it to the lizard-like animal. The Axolotl gobbled it down. It ran up my leg onto my shoulder.
The pilot said, “Look! I see tourists! We’re probably close to getting out of here!”
We found our way back out of the Grand Canyon. I thanked the pilot and headed home with the Axolotl. I decided it needed a home, so I took it in as my pet. I named it Tucker.
Over the years, I have come to love my Axolotl more and more. He doesn’t destroy my furniture or eat my food. He’s a good animal, and I have no regrets having him as my pet.
By Page Luca V.
The creature in the picture is my pet Alfredo. He is a blobfish. I once wanted a fish, so I made my way to Pets Mart. When I got there, I saw the entrance. When I got to the entrance, it was locked so I went around the back. When I was in the back, I saw a green carton. So, I thought there might be a fish in it, but it was not a fish at all.
I took the carton home with me. When I got home, I looked and that slimy thing was looking at me, making the weirdest gurgle ever. After a while it started to be quiet, so I looked over, and it was sleeping. I thought it might want a home, so I bought a tank for it. Then I named him Alfredo.
The next day I took it out of the carton, and it was the slimiest thing I have ever touched. Then it jumped out of my hands and flopped everywhere. That’s when I started to regret having him. I got complaints that a big slime ball was in their microwave and jumping on their kids. So, I got Alfredo and put him back in his tank. I regret that because he is so noisy, always making a mess, somehow getting in my neighbors’ microwaves and splashing water on me. I like Alfredo very much even though there are countless things I hate about him. He is still my pet and my responsibility, so I decided I would keep him.
The Annoying Mammal
By Page Eren O.
The creature in the picture was a bear. I ended up with him as a pet by hunting in the forest for ducks; then I saw the bear. I have come to regret owning it because he is always very stubborn and would not stop not listening. When I tell him to sit in the basement, he walks around my dorm all day, and he actually cooks as good as Gordon Ramsey.
There was this one day that was one of the days I thought I was going to bring him back to the forest. Basically what happened was I woke up and saw him in my room looking innocent, and I was wondering why, and when I stepped down on the ground, I felt why he was acting innocent. He peed and pooped all over the floor, and I stepped in the poop. After that I had to clean all of it off. I brushed my teeth and realized that there was ear wax all over the toothbrush because he thought it was an ear waxer.
After that I went off to work and about on my lunch break, I got a call from my neighbor saying he heard something breaking in my room. When I got to my dorm room, I saw the bear breaking all my images of my grandma and grandpa, and I saw a video that he somehow recorded of him breaking things like the pictures with an axe and with a baseball bat.
That is my pet bear.
The Knights of the Mightier Pen gather in the hallowed halls of the Regis School in Houston, Texas, to share their tales and poems.